Jurassic Baby

I am 79% sure that I watched the Jurassic series too many times while pregnant.

I say this because I am 100% sure that I birthed a blue-eyed, ginger, velociraptor.

So basically all of my wildest dreams have come true.

Every day there comes a time that photographers call golden hour and Kai calls I’m-going-to-sleep-just-kidding-I-want-to-hang-out-and-I’m-exhausted. It’s usually at this point that I wave the white flag and we hang out in his crib in my naive hope that simply by being in bed AND chilling with his mama, Bilbo Baggins will want to fall asleep.

The other day, bubba and I were hanging out in his crib. It’s a great place to be. His dockatot makes it basically the most comfortable bed in the house. Which is the other reason I was in there too. Let’s be honest, his bed is worth more than ours haha both in perceived and actual value (parent life). So we’re hanging out and he decides that he’s over being contained.

This next part is not an exaggeration and has not been embellished AT ALL.

My little dinosaur reaches for the crib slat closest to him and kind of bangs at it with his hand. Nothing happens. He then launches himself at it with his head. Please note that I have the world’s slowest reflexes which is probably why my parents encouraged me to learn  how to play golf as a kid and not anything where anybody moved or had to react to a ball.

Ok so he decides the first slat isn’t going anywhere and, too quickly for me, taps the next one with his head. This child systematically and methodically moved down every slat of his crib from one end to the other. I swear I could see in his eyes that he was going to find a weakness in the wall. At the end when he still hadn’t found one, he rolled over and looked at me with his soul searching eyes that I swear said ‘ummm.. why am I doing all the work here. We both know you know how to get out of here.’

I give you velociraptor example one.

This is a pajama shirt and when he wears it, his little old man belly peeks out and I love it.

Velociraptor example two.

Bubs has this  soother that has a stuffed animal attached to it. It’s a tiger which is why we sometimes use this 🐯 when we’re texting about him.  Since our kid is a savage, he chews on the tiger legs rather than using the pacifier part. He’s done this pretty much since newborn status. The other day, we’re hanging out in the crib again, HA. This happened:

Just call me Chris Pratt.

 

 

HEYOOOO

3 years ago, Joey and I moved to China. Today, my facebook showed me a memory of the first blog post I wrote about that crazy adventure. I loved writing that blog but I let these haters.who.were.gonna.hate get to me and I stopped before Christmas 2013. It was so great reading back through those memories so I decided screw the haters, I’M BACK.

Here’s the deal. We now have a baby. He’s frickin amazing. I want to be able to look back one day and remember what these days looked like for us. This go around I’m going to try and have thicker skin and drink more water haha.

We have a kid.

He likes to do funny things like talk really loudly in his mama’s ear when he’s exhausted and then refuse to go to sleep HA. My mom always says, ‘oh I remember when you were like that.’ So all those little ‘You’ll have a kid just like you’ things are true. I am forewarned.

When he’s asleep, he just lies there with those little baby turtle cheeks and I just stare at him. When I said I wanted to remember these days, I forgot that most of my day is spent in wonder at life. Not much gets done around here.

This past week we went to the beach. Homeboy equal parts enjoyed and not enjoyed it. Unfortunately he came back with a heat rash but we did find out that he loves the shower and stuffing sand in his mouth so victories people.

He is truly a child of his generation. He already knows how to hang up on his grandparents while facetiming (not a word apparently) and he looks very confusedly at the phone when he can hear his dad but can’t see him. Then he’ll yell this ‘bo, bah, bah, bleh, mAAAAAAA’ while furrowing his brows and looking from me to the phone. Wonder kid I tell you.

He woke up this morning at 5am because he wanted to go running with his dad. I put the kibosh on that and then he refused to fall asleep for a nap until 8am as payback. I’m using the time to blog haha and shovel food into me because the world’s slowest eater has become the world’s fastest eater in the space of 6 months.

Till 3 years from now,

mAAAAAAAAAA